This is hilarious. When Khan saw some female airport personnel looking at his scans, he autographed them. Ha! Shah Rukh signs off sexy body-scan printouts at Heathrow |
London, Feb 6 (IANS) Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan isn’t intimidated by the full body-scan machines that have been recently installed at London’s airports - in fact, he’s been signing off printouts of his X-rays. |
| ‘I’m always stopped by the security, because of the name. And I think its okay: the western world is a little bit worried, paranoid and touchy, I guess - and feely when they’re frisking you,’ |
‘I was in London recently going through the airport and these new machines have come up, the body scans. You’ve got to see them. It makes you embarrassed - if you’re not well endowed. ‘You walk into the machine and everything - the whole outline of your body - comes out.’ |
| ‘Then I saw these girls - they had these printouts. I looked at them. I thought they were some forms you had to fill. I said ‘give them to me’ - and you could see everything inside. So I autographed them for them.’Read more at in.news.yahoo.com |
I’ve been trying not to pay too much attention to Pat Robertson and his shenanigans, but this letter to him, written by Satan himself (channeled by a reader of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune and sent to the paper’s editors) is too good not to post. | Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. |
| But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. |
| Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. |
| If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. |
| You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract. Best, Satan
Read more at www.startribune.com |
Before anyone gets all excited, this column is supposed to be humor, not news. |
Nudists offer to fly naked to help national security |
Citing the need for improved security on airline flights, members of the Lido Beach Nudist Club said they planned to fly naked on their club’s next trip to a resort in Amsterdam.
“If the government is seriously looking for ways to stop terrorism on airplanes,” a club spokesperson said, “this is a no-brainer.”
“Why spend millions of dollars on expensive body scanning equipment?” asked another club member. “If everybody flew naked, one quick glance by TSA agents is all the security we’ll need.”
A prominent local church official questioned the idea, saying “Nobody who has led a good life should be afraid of dying and going to heaven. But walking around naked is immoral.”
Nudist Club officials said the flight to Amsterdam is completely sold out.Read more at tannenweekly.com |
The second one is from Flickr user R2DC. The first one is shown on Buzzfeed, with no source given. I find “Would you rather I marry your daughter?” pretty amusing. The 20 Best Signs At The National Equality March |
Good Night and Tough Luck |
Getting a good night’s sleep is actually a lot more complicated than one would think. |
Usually the trouble starts with my having to use the bathroom. Even though I am 38 years old, I still find myself hoping the urge will just pass. Which it doesn’t.
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Next up: a visitor from the kids’ room. They start all sweet and cuddly, but their little bodies become more brazen by the minute.
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To make things worse, our kids always insist on sleeping ON TOP of our blanket, creating a whole new set of problems.
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| The one thing I haven’t really figured out is where the person in the back is supposed to put that bottom arm. |
To summarize what we’ve learned so far: |
Do not watch if cursing and potty humor bother you. It cracked me up. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin: Text Adventures |
| Text Adventures
———
Ash is in a maze of twisting passages, all alike. |
The Ebay.co.sg auction (bit.ly/f9sZ2) for this item has expired, but it’s still cool. Just in case anyone’s wondering, that’s not Thomas. The blue one is too long to be Thomas. I think it’s probably Edward, but maybe Gordon. The red one is James and the green one has got to be Henry. I saw this because Airam F. (a.k.a. haraya) twittered about it (bit.ly/j7nEB).
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Tomas the Transformer! |
| By Ben on Thu Jul 30 2009 |
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| It is Thomas The Tank, and also the Transformer. The Transformer is made up of three Thomas The Tanks: red, bule and green Thomas. Available in on eBay for all of $8.50 Singapore dollars(about $5). COol! More Pis after more. |
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Things I
Thought or Heard
While Serving
in Iraq. |
Wow, it’s really hot here.
Wow, those guys look really mad.
Wow, I don’t want to know where he was hiding that rocket.
Now, that looks really painful.
That is really painful.
Wait, define “infection.”
Merry Christmas.
Wow, it’s really cold.
Wow, that guy looks really angry.
That spider was really fast.
Wait, define “amputate.”
When I get home, I’m going to kill my recruiter.
Do they really call this food?
Adventure, women, booze, parties, and I end up here; I really am going to kill my recruiter.
What about that goat? No wonder he looks mad.
Finally, we’re leaving.
Wait, define “held over.”
Define “six more months.”
I’m going to kill that recruiter.
See more at www.mcsweeneys.net |
Cat show featuring agility competition
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PHOENIXVILLE ” Cats from all over the country will be converging at CAT-Pickering this weekend for the Nova Cat Fanciers Allbreed Cat Show. Along with breed standard judging, cat agility trials will be sure to entertain the onlookers. |
Does that catch your curiosity? Yes, cats can run an obstacle course! For the past decade, the sport of dog agility has taken the country by storm. Dogs are leaping over hurdles, caroming around weave poles and diving through tunnels. Cats will get their chance on Saturday and Sunday. The course will include tunnels, hoops, weave poles, stair steps and low, medium and high hurdles. Expect some cats to zoom through the course in just seconds. |
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